“The lunatic is on the grass”, the connoisseurs of fine music amongst you may well recall those lyrics from Pink Floyd's song Brain Damage, a track from their album Dark Side of the Moon.

Much as I love the moody track, unfortunately I couldn't get it out of mind this weekend when reading a ridiculous tale of a double act that would be better placed in the Jack Nicholson film, One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest – talk about loonies.   Picture this: a guy buys a property for £86,000 in 2007, he's a successful property developer owning over 30 properties in his portfolio – you'd think he’d know a bit about property.    Well in June this year he had the property valued at £120,000 – with an uplift to £130,000 when certain refurbishment projects were complete – and the valuer said that in his expertise, no specialist reports were required. So he spent £10,000 on refurbishing the kitchen and adding a conservatory – the property also boasts a tenant on a AST paying £550 per month.   Enter the lunatic double act, he toddled off to the Nationwide to apply for a mortgage to get a larger loan, only for the loonies to be released; the valuer gave the property a value of £1, yes you read right, one measly pound. He said he was following Nationwide's directive of valuing properties at £1 when they fall outside criteria, or when further reports or investigations are required, and in this instance the report suggested it was not habitable due to high moisture readings, contrary to the earlier private report which was only three months old.   Talk about loonies. Do these cretins take any consideration that they are playing God with people's lives? This poor guy had purchased the property, got it habitable, put tenants in place, then spent £10,000 on refurbishment, not to mention fees and costs associated with the mortgage application. Lock them up and throw away the key, if this was me I'd be looking for the valuer to be removed to the dark side of the moon.   On a sunnier note, Thursday was interesting this week, thanks to Simon from Goldentree. Simon is contemplating offering development finance to my client for a large mixed development and to progress this we had a three-way meeting at Goldentree's Warrington offices; Simon, my client, and me.   It was interesting to see the case assessed and discussed from a lender’s side of things, to see the thought process, and the views of the lender, and I was left in no doubt that the lender was looking for ways to make it fit – not as so often happens nowadays with many lenders who purport to be ‘actively pursuing business’, placing it into the BPU (business prevention unit). How the case will progress we will see, but the only tip I would give Simon is to offer your guests some cream buns with their cuppa!! After all we had travelled from the Peoples Democratic Republic of South Yorkshire over the Pennines and into unknown territory...   Whilst mentioning bridging lenders I'd better mention young Jeanette at Bridging Finance Solutions, they have been very supportive and well on the ball with assessing and getting terms out for another client of mine this week. To get 85% of the purchase price on bridging is extremely difficult nowadays, so well done to them! Just the valuation and legal side now to get through, but I’m not worried about that on this case...

Contact Bob Havenhand: [email protected] 

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